How to be politically incorrect


Unnecessarily refer to people by their race.

When given descriptions of people it is important to give clarification for yourself and others.  When describing anyone on television, in a film, from work, from the local shop or anyone just passing by, make sure that you mention their race first. You don’t need to distinguish between their sex, height or what their wearing. I mean, how else would you be able tell the difference between people of you aren’t mentioning their race? And it doesn’t matter if you aren’t exactly correct about where the person is from. I mean all dark skinned people are from Africa aren’t they? Make sure and refer to anyone from East Asia as Chinese and anyone from middle-east as Muslim (don’t forget to make some comments about immigrants as well, its ok to do that once you say you don’t have a problem with them personally).

Make sure and enforce all of your own gender stereotypes on people especially the younger generation.

Insist on your own and other children living up to gender stereotypes by wearing gender specific clothes and shoes. Make sure to buy them gendered toys and insist on buying all their little friends toys that you think are appropriate despite their more liberal parents allowing them to be unrestricted in terms of their gender. I mean girls don’t have to wear dresses but they should at least wear ‘girl’s clothes’.  Make sure to criticise the outfit choice of the young men in the area, and it’s important to refer to them as gay if they are wearing clothes which are in fashion but in your opinion more suitable to women.  Make sure and question the androgynous/transgender people you meet, ask them if they are a man or a woman or if you don’t want to insult, just ask everyone else around you instead. You must also assume that all androgynous/transgender people are gay or that the reason they are considered androgynous or transgender is based on the clothes they wear. Don’t worry, because you don’t go out of your way to insult these people you aren’t being discriminatory or anything.

Make sexist comments towards women, as a woman.

As a woman, you are allowed to criticise other women. It is your prerogative to call a woman a slut, make disapproving comments about how another woman dresses, who she chooses to date. It is important that as a woman that you speak out about rape culture and that means agreeing with the patriarchal view that it’s a woman’s responsibility to make sure she doesn’t get attacked. Don’t forget that it should also body shame other women if they don’t fit a particular view of how women should look. And just to make sure that are you are standing up for equality make sure and criticise men for not living up to your narrow view of masculinity while complaining about the stereotypical masculine behaviour that includes the mistreatment of women and believing that they are superior to women.

Make sure and say flippant things about mental health and disabilities.

When you are feeling a little bit sad about the poor result in the football or about not having enough money to go out you should express it through the language of mental health issues, I mean obviously the only appropriate thing to say at your time of great sadness that the shop is out of your shade of foundation is that your depressed, because being depressed is equal to sadness over frivolous things. When you get a fright about liking something on Facebook that you should you must have had a panic attack, because that is all a panic attack is anyway right? And that sad song on the radio should be described by adjectives like suicidal, because suicidal should be used as an adjective. Don’t forget to belittle those with physical or mental disabilities by pointing out how everyone seems to have one, just like iPhones, and make sure to comment on how most kids now are just really bold and that there is really nothing wrong with them or that young woman discussing her anxiety is just looking for attention.

And in case you get worried that all of this advice is a bit extreme, just remember even people who claim to be the most liberal, who appropriate so much of other societal group’ cultures are doing this so it must be ok.

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