Well hello world. It has been quite a while since my last post,which means I have failed at one of my new year’s resolutions but I assure you have a very legit reason. Firstly I was planning a little bit of a revamp for my page because I was planning on travelling around South East Asia with my hubby and wanted to share all of my struggles on that journey, so I was planning a really fun post on my 36 hour journey to the other side of the world, my airport struggles and all my adventures but then boom (a literal boom because I was hit by a car) and my plans had to change. Apparently this is what grown ups know as ‘life’ I prefer to know it as c**t face McAss dick.
About three weeks ago I was making my way home from work and was hit by a car, broke my arm and badly hurt most of the rest of my body and of course my mind. The whole thing was fairly traumatic not just because it is a horrible thing to have happened and has ruined all of my travel plans but because I had to go through other not so fun stuff as a result of it that no one really thinks about. For example I had to have all of my clothes cut off of me and had to lie naked on a hospital bed while they found me a gown, tried to find a vein to put a line in and check me over in the hospital. I had to be helped to the bathroom, to anywhere really because I couldn’t walk without holding on to someone and I also couldn’t dress myself. Instead of bonding by travelling and seeing new places my husband and I were spending time getting used to maneuvering me into toilets and showers, with him trying to dress me and of course with him having to learn how sanitary pads fit into under wear (oh yea that’s right on top of everything the crimson tide arrived, just what I fucking needed!).
Luckily my husband and I have a disgustingly open relationship but I think we both agreed we would have rather be lying on a beach somewhere or roaming through beautiful temples in Thailand. I couldn’t have writing about it because I didn’t really feel like making it into a funny anecdote for my blog. I don’t really even want to know but I’m gonna be honest there is far too much good material in my pain not too. I mean the image I have created of a grown man figuring out which side of a pad sticks to to the knickers is a alone to funny an imagine not to share.
I’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the past week as I try to come to terms with this lovely curve ball that has hit me, I’ve dyed my hair, watched numerous shows on Netflix, got a new puppy, learned to live without washing my hair for days on end, become someone who wears pajamas all day, and bought a new lamp shades for my bedroom. I’ve also almost fallen over because I can’t keep my balance, cried on my bed because o couldn’t put my socks on and suffered through kale and spinach smoothies that my husband insists is good for my broken bones. It’s been emotional.
Anyway I’m back to myself a bit more than I was and I will hopefully be posting more often and telling you all about my attempts to function with one arm instead of just my daily struggles of being an adult.