Why I am acknowledging my privilege

When I was in college I always felt like I was on the lower rungs of the privileged ladder. I was able to be there when others couldn’t, I could afford to finish my degree, I had food in my belly – plenty of money for the occasional night out and enough money to get home t weekends to raid my mother’s fridge but compared to others, I was not privileged – or at least I didn’t think I was. I couldn’t afford to go travelling during the summer, go out every night, buy from the expensive supermarkets or have meals in the canteen every day. I didn’t get pocket money, I didn’t have to work during my time in college but I lived off of a grant, which looking back not a huge amount of money. I lived in affordable houses and flats that had mould and you could see your breath in the mornings, even in the summer.  I never went without food, clothes or rent but I never felt as though I was on the same level as people who could take an unpaid internship during the summer or could live in a nice part of the city. It wasn’t until I left college and had to live in the real world that I’ve really started to realise that all of the things that made me feel like I was at a disadvantage were actually examples of my privilege.

There were people who dropped out of college because they couldn’t afford to stay, people who couldn’t afford to go in the first place because they weren’t entitled to a grant or any help and people whose college work had to suffer because they worked 20 plus hours a week just to pay for it. Looking back I realised I was incredibly lucky to be able to go to college, finish my degree go on and do a fucking Masters -get a job straight away after finishing it. I WAS PRIVILEGED.  And I still am and honestly I think I always have been. I never went without anything in my life. When I quit my job to study in my final year of secondary school, I could, because I had very nice understanding parents and also enough of everything that I could have possibly needed at 18, extra pocket money wasn’t leaving me stuck for any necessity. I had nice things, was giving presents at Christmas and Birthdays. I never went without anything I needed and I even got things I wanted.  Now, lately, like a lot of people, my life has not gone according to plan – but I have WIFI and a laptop and am able to moan about it via my blog so I’m doing pretty ok don’t you think?

I’m a white educated woman, with food, a smart phone and a Netflix account, I AM PRIVILEGED.  Last week I was on my period and I literally realised that I had the choice between using a period cup, reusable pads, a tampon or a sanitary pad. There are women all over the world you might not even have an cloth to put down there – there are women who get locked in sheds and left without food and drink for days while menstruating. So, I AM PRVILEGED. I went to a restaurant recently and thought how lucky it was that they accommodated my plant based diet – until I went home and thought what the fuck is wrong with me, I am lucky to be able to go to a restaurant in the first place.

Now I’m not going to suddenly become an obnoxious pain in the hole and start pretending I know what it is like for people who don’t have the luxuries or even the basic amenities that I have, but at least now I am becoming aware of how privileged I am to have the basics and the extras. I’m not trying to claim the realisation of the extent of my privilege is going to automatically make me a better person, I’m not going to start renouncing all possessions –  that wouldn’t fix shite all problems in the world but I acknowledge that I have the privilege of so much. I have access to a safe, clean place to live. I have had a good education. I have access to health care, for both my physical and mental health, when I’ve needed it. I have travelled a little bit, voted on occasion – been allowed to use this platform to speak my truth. All of these things from the basic to the trivial are aspects of my privilege and I am very much aware of the fact that others do not have the same advantages that I have.  But one of the privileges I have as an educated women is the right to be heard and the right to be listened to, and this advantage has taught me that I should use my voice to point out how wrong it is that I have advantages while others don’t – instead of assuming that I am somehow less fortunate just because I’m not out drinking prosecco cocktails on a Friday night. Now there are some things that my privilege can’t buy, the choices I have – they aren’t perfect, there is more I could have from a political and social point of view – but these are things that we all need, not just me and wanting those things does not make me privileged, for example, I can acknowledge the fact that I have health care and still argue about what the system lacks, it doesn’t mean I am not aware how lucky I am.

Privilege can be used to highlight the inconsistencies within your society. You are privileged with a voice and you should use it in order to show what is really wrong with the world and not waste it complaining about what you don’t have yourself. You can become an ally to groups that don’t have as much power as you do, you can highlight where people are using their privilege in a negative way and teach others about what you have learned. You just have to acknowledge how fortunate you are and take it from there.

I did a Facebook purge and here’s why 

I recently deleted about 30+ people from my Facebook friends. Why? Because I either don’t speak to them anymore or I spend my time feeling shit because their lives look way more impressive than mine. Now don’t get me wrong, I am aware that this is not their fault, it is just my own insecurities getting the best of me – we have all been there. 

I’ve attempted to get rid of a lot people from my friend list many times before but I would only end up deleting some sort of business page that was no longer in use. I felt guilty for choosing to remove someone for what seems like such a small reason and I didn’t want anyone to be insulted by my decision. I would be insulted if I discovered I had been unfriended. But this time though I really went for it, because what is a good choice for yourself should always come first. 

I deleted people who I don’t see or speak to anymore because I use Facebook for communicating with my friends, especially those who live abroad, I mean it’s free so of course I’m gonna message them on there instead of texting! So, if I use it to talk to people why would I keep a ton of people that I don’t speak to? I mean how many of the friends on my list would I say Hello to if I met them on the street, very few if I’m honest! That’s not a reflection on them or me, it is just that we aren’t close.

I may have known you pretty well six years ago but I’m fairly sure you don’t know anything about me other than something I shared on Facebook. In my case that is really fuck all because I’m far too lazy to even write a status half the time. 

There is another more selfish reason I have decided to do a Facebook spring clean though. Some of my Facebook friends make me feel shit about where I am in my life. Now it is not there fault, god no, they are just sharing their lives and more power to them, but I don’t really like that it makes me as sad and jealous as it does. The reason it makes me so sad and jealous, and not overjoyed with pride in your accomplishments in life is because I’m looking at it through a very distorted filter, a social media filter that seems to only allow me to see the things that will make me sad and jealous, and not things that make me wanna say ‘fair fucks’ or ‘yaaass queen’.  

What I’m basically saying is I have purged my friends list for my own selfish reasons not because of anything these people have actually done themselves. Social media can be such a toxic thing. We spend hours and hours engrossed in later people’s lives, and personally it doesn’t make me feel good. All I seem to do (and I’m sure there are many people out there who do the same) is compare myself to other people. I compare how I look, my career, my eating and exercising habits, what shows I’m watching, even the amount I go out and socialise. I’m completely comfortable with all of those things when I start my day but after any amount of time on social media I’m googling tips on how to have a more exciting life without having to leave the house. I basically have an unhealthy relationship with the people on my newsfeed, despite not having spoken to them in person in years or in some cases ever. 

I want my newsfeed to be filled with news that my close friends and family are sharing, funny memes that make me laugh, pictures of the people I love doing what they love, not people I knew three years ago getting a promotion in what appears to be the coolest job ever, I don’t begrudge you it, but I’m not going to congratulate you when we haven’t spoken in years, I’m probably going to scroll past quickly and feel awful about my own life. I want to actually feel happy for my friends when I go online instead of feeling as though I need to get out and be a completely different person in order to be successful or to have a good time/nice things. 

I think we are all much more vulnerable than we realise when it comes to social media, not in a practical sense – we’ve all seen Catfish, we know how it goes, but in terms of our mental and emotional health we invest too much of ourselves in other people’s lives, other people who we don’t really know or have a relationship with. It’s no different than pouring over magazines with celebrities or watching scripted reality TV. It can be fun of it is done in a light hearted way, but when we start to invest our own feelings in the material lives of other people we stop be happy for people, we get bitter and jealous, which makes us miserable and self-hating.  

So clean-up your friends list, make sure that everyone on there makes you feel a positive emotion when you scroll past them, get rid of people who you don’t talk to because it makes meeting them with silence on the street less awkward and finally, take a break from it all together once and a while. You don’t NEED to be on Facebook while taking a shit so leave the phone in the other room once in a while. Detox. I promise you will feel better. 

Things that keep me up at night

Has anyone ever seen Russell Brand’s stand up show Shame? Well in that show he talks about the embarrassing things that make you stay awake at night. He describes the cringy memories coming to him like an evil sandman waking you up just before you drift off to sleep. It’s like that dickhead friend you have posting a mortifying picture of you on Facebook and just typing ‘I’ll just leave this here’.

Everyone has those random thoughts that pop into your head at night.  I get those lovely shame filled ones that float into your head make you physically cringe and end up making you stay awake for the rest of the night – sort of like the fear but it could be from something that I said when I was about five. I also tend to have thoughts about the uncertainty of the future and make up scenarios in my head about Zombies, waking up in an alternative universe, and alien invading the planet.  Of course this happens just when I am about to fall asleep. I’ll be drifting off then BOOM, an image of me when I dyed my hair black before thick dark eyebrows were a thing, so I looked like I didn’t have any eyebrows. I feel my stomach turn over and then I lie awake for five hours analysing the reason why I thought that was a good idea. My brain also likes to revisit the time when I was in primary school and had a solo at a prayer service.  The first opening verse was mine. I felt like a queen … then I opened my mouth and I sang out of tune. I remember seeing my friend’s mother’s face in the audience.

Sometimes I think about more contemporary embarrassing incidents like my birthday two years ago where I drank A LOT of Jameson, sloppily left the pub without telling anyone and got a taxi home. Started dosing off in the taxi – the driver did not appreciate this. I woke up the next morning with my jeans hanging around my ankles (they were skinny jeans I must have just given up) and my pretty pinky red lipstick all over my cheek. I had not gotten that drunk since I was in my early twenties and the shame was unbearable. Not just because of the sheer embarrassment but because getting into that state is not cute and I honestly don’t think my liver has ever forgiven me. She still won’t return my texts since that night (FYI my liver doesn’t really have access to a mobile phone this was purely for comedic effect).

I obviously freak out about the big stuff right before going to sleep as well. You know, I ask myself: what is life and is my purpose – you know the big complex shit. I sometimes stay awake at night staring at the ceiling worrying that my friends and I will end up being forced into some kind of The Handmaid’s Tale situation and have all of our rights taken away or that they may decide to outlaw tea in this country and have to relocate and find a new home.  All of that is completely normal, everyone worries for the future. But other smaller things tend to keep me awake for ages. I don’t know whether this is the same for everyone one or if it is just me but I lie awake at night making a list of ways I can get away without yet another day of washing my hair or trying to justify not changing my socks for a few days (if you only lie down watching telly for most of the day then the socks cannot be dirty).

I also do that thing where right before I sleep I imagine myself finally telling people how I really feel about them.  I eventually fall asleep feeling empowered – then when I do see them I smile politely and my lack of sleep is all for naught.  I imagine the scenarios where I meet my heroes. I imagine this going well but it slowly drifts into the image of me embarrassing myself in front of them and having shame filled sleepless nights with my brain asking me if I remember the time I shit myself in front of Chimamanda Adichie. Yes you read that right, I lay awake imagining myself being kept up all night.

 

The ghost of Facebook past.

I’ve noticed my Facebook page is filled with articles I’ve shared, memes and pictures. I very rarely write a status and I probably haven’t really felt the need to in a long time. When I first joined Facebook I used to constantly update my statue…even if I had very little to say. Every so often I see a post pop up under memories and I physically cringe at the pure ridiculousness of the thoughts I shared in a public space. Not just because it is embarrassing but also because I don’t know what I was even talking about.  Anyway, as I am a glutton for punishment I am going to share some of these posts with you, partly so you can have a good laugh but also in the hope that you can help me decipher the meaning of my early Facebook years.

 

2009

It can’t have been that good because I have no recognition of what this was in relation to.  I think I was going through a phase of using random as an adjective to describe pretty much anything in my life. Also my level of English was atrocious even for an eighteen year old.

2010

Was I afraid of correct grammar? This was during my first year of college. I should have just tried to sleep of study instead of taking to writing on Facebook to complain. No one cares about how sleep deprived I am. I was totally looking for sympathy here. Also judging by my sentence structure I had more to worry about than the housemates.

2010 again

Yep, I actively engaged and encouraged this back in the day, now when I see it I consider unfriending people.

sick

And Again

More com

I also added dot com to everything at this point and decided to share being sick on Facebook. Adding dot com must have made things more serious back in the day.Yes, I’ve cracked it I added dot com to show the severity of my hunger, anger and hangovers.  That is how I am going to justify my overuse of this.

 

Out

This is one of about fifty statuses with this theme from this time in my life. I don’t know why I was so interested in going out. I fucking hate going out now. The thought of it upsets me. I don’t even like leaving the house now. I barely go outside let alone go OUT. I think I would cry if I had to go to a nightclub.

Cock

I hope that someone wrote this when I left my laptop open.

fml

I probably just had a hangover or was tired and felt that my life was thus ruined.

Passport

Or I’m too busy on Facebook to actually look for it.

Tea problem

 

Fuck, I wish I could say I stopped after this but I don’t think I did. That’s a serious tea problem.  Why was I sharing this with people? Where is the punctuation?

Done and Dusted

Not a clue. Not one. Gonna say I had either polished off a large cake or finished exams.

tea

Was I murdering the tea and biscuits? Was a big fan of the exclamation mark wasn’t I?

 

What.

He is, but why am I expressing this passionate sentiment right at this moment? Was it a spontaneous realisation or was there a reason for it…we will never know.

Carlow

Why was I so eager to get home? I usually just ate and slept when I went home, this status is misleading people to think I had a vibrant social life. It should have said whooo I’m going home to do some washing in a house that doesn’t smell like mould.

Causal sexism

Ok this one I am only embarrassed about because I should have just removed these people and not try to hold a conversation about sexism when I didn’t have the knowledge behind me. I would not have engaged in this conversation if it were to happen now. I think this one just goes to show how far the world has come because I don’t think anyone would dare write that under my status now.

 

 

Bug bears (a nicer term for shit that irritates you)

This might end up being a long post as many things annoy me. We all have things that annoys us, that gets under our skin, makes us wanna throw things or type in capital letters under someone’s Facebook status. Chances are most people will get annoyed by the sane things as me but I accept that I am a little weird and that there will be at least three of these that you think are ridiculous and I should maybe look into getting help for, which you are probably right about. 

1. When cutlery is not put back in the right place. 

I’m OK with everything else being mixed up but the spoons, knives and forks should not be mixed up together in the drawer and so help me God if I see anyone putting them in the wrong sections in the drawer will end you. They have their own little cutlery houses and they should stay there, it doesn’t matter why but it is like nails on a chalk board if they are not in the correct place. 

2. People who drive through puddles while I’m on the path. 

This is a horrible one because you either have to continue your day completely drowned or you have to get home and attempt to peel off the wet clothes, which really hurts. Why can’t they drive more slowly and just aim for my feet, I good deal with that. I don’t need muddy water all over me, they should just go slowly so it’s a small wave and not a tsunami. 

3. People who spoil the end of films.

OK I do this sometimes by accident but some people do it stupidly. I was going to the cinema once, I was literally paying for my ticket and the guy told me one of the main actor, one of the important character dies. If my friends had heard to then I would have demanded my money back, but serious dude you don’t tell the customers what happens in the films? What’s wrong with you. 

4. Incorrect use of the term Karma. 

Dear western world. Karma is not what you wish to happen to someone who as wronged you despite what Facebook and tumblr posts would have you believe. I’m not even gonna pretend that I fully understand it it but Karmic justice is not gonna magically happen,and if it would happen  it probably won’t be in this lifetime as it is part of a belief system that includes reincarnation.  Therefore please stop with the cryptic messages about how karma will get people, it would probably be more accurate to say that if karma works the person that wronged you will come back as a cockroach. If people stopped using the term incorrectly it would stop me shouting at my screen a lot and make me look more sane. 

5. It’s specific not Pacific. 

Do I need to discuss this further.

6. People who tell me I’m prettier without my glasses. 

Firstly, you are wrong because I look like a mole with squinty eyes. Also you know, rude. I need them to see so shut up. 

7. Strangers who think it is OK to ask to wear my glasses.

Would you as to try on someone’s hearing aid? No. So go away, I don’t fancy standing around with the world blurring while you decide if my glasses suit you.  I have the same issue for people who ask to use other people’s crutches. I doubt they are much fun for the people who need them so why would you prance around with them.

8. My duvet being the wrong way around. 

The buttons have to be at the bottom of the bed. If they are anywhere else this will cause the plastic to accidentally touch my skin and feel weird. I sometimes make my husband get out of the bed so I can fix this. 

9. When people stand to close to me in a queue.

Getting all up on me will not get you there quicker I assure you. I do not want to feel your breath on my neck, it ain’t sexy. If I can smell what you had for lunch you are too close. 

10. People.

Just in general. 

My pets

I, like so many people, am a complete pet parent. I talk to them like they are babies, I call myself mammy and my husband daddy around them, I worry about them, and if I go anywhere without them I think about them constantly. But they are ridiculous, they do ridiculous things and despite being so clever in so many ways they do some fucking weird and stupid things. I have two dogs and a step-lizard. My husband has had this lizard, a Bearded Dragon, for years so I am only his/her step mother (we refer to it as him but about six months ago we checked and it turns out he is a she but why break the habit).  Lenny, the lizard, is pretty old. We are not entirely sure when my husband got him but we know that he is old as fuck. Anyway, this obviously makes him very placid. He is super chilled out most of the time. He barely moves, just sits there, lets his food come to him and generally doesn’t do much.

lenny-and-husband

Except sometimes he does this mildly creepy thing where he presses his belly up against the glass door of his tank and sits there for hours on end without moving.  Or sometimes he stays so still that we think he is dead. I don’t mean just lying there all day like a normal lizard but I mean lies still for DAYS.  He also trashes his tank like an old-school rocker trying to reclaim his youth by trashing his hotel room. He only does this if we have cleaned out the tank though, which is the strange thing about it. I don’t understand whether he does it accidently because he is so excited that it is so clean or if he hates having it cleaned so chooses to mess it all up. Whatever the reasons for his strange little outbursts it means that cleaning him up is a big job and I tend not to get involved because for those of you that don’t know lizard poop stinks. So does dog shit, of which my garden is rife with. I have two little pups, Pippin and a very new addition, Bowie. Pippin is half Yorkshire terrier and half Pug and is as cute as that sounds. He likes to lick the back door, well I don’t know if he is purposely licking it or it is just because his tongue is out constantly and rubs off it. You see due to his breeding he has an overbite and a large tongue that sticks out constantly. He looks like he is sticking his tongue at you. He likes to sit outside staring in at you with his tongue out…bit creepy.

He also likes to hide his food. He hides most of his food in the grass for later but then, judging by the manic way he digs around the garden, he forgets where he puts them or Bowie steals them. Bowie was brought home to me about a month ago to cheer me up because I was feeling down because of my broken arm. He is Dashhound terrier cross and he sorta looks like the slinky dog from Toy Story.  He is basically a sausage dog and has teeny tiny legs that you think will just collapse under the weight of him. He is a puppy and does lots of bold puppy things. But the boldest thing he has done is taught Pippin to howl. Pippin never howled, he yelped, he is a yelpy type of dog but since Bowie has arrive he has learned how to howl, so now they both sit on the garden chairs, across from each other practicing for the day. It is like watching the contestants on X-Factor practice before their audition.  They like to drag dirt and rocks into their beds, swing out of the loose string from the washing line and run up and down the garden for about an hour – just for the hell of it.

Now as weird and strange as they are, I love my little munchkins. They give me endless snuggles in between their weird little habits. Are everyone else’s pets as weird as mine? I hope so because otherwise your pets would be super boring.

Ten of my Favourite Books

I love my books. I like carrying one with me wherever I go just in case. I really enjoy reading and honestly escaping into the world of a book is far better than having to be social. Here are my top favourites – just to point out this is extremely hard for me to narrow down. I really just wanna include every book because I don’t like picking favourites. Hopefully this will give you a few tips on what to read next. I promise no spoilers.

The Book Thief – Markus Zusak

This book is based during World War II and has death as the narrator. Pretty dark. But it has some amazing passages and sucks you into the story. It is not written in the traditional story format but stick with it because it is well worth it.

The White Tiger – Aravind Adiga

This book is hilarious, I don’t know if it is always intentional but I did laugh a lot at times. It is the story of a young man in India and his journey from corruption to business man. It’s brilliantly written and makes you question a lot of racial and cultural stereotypes.

A Girl is a Half-Formed Thing – Eimear McBride

This is really a Marmite kind of book. You really either love it or hate it. It is kind of hard to understand because it is kind of written as a stream of thoughts, which we all know is not necessarily cohesive at all times.

The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

Soon to be TV series (and I can’t wait for this), this is about a dystopian world where woman are separated by their roles in society. It really calls into question the role of women in our own society. And Margaret Atwood is a queen (insert praise hands here).

Stardust – Neil Gaiman

If you like fairy tales and you are fake grown up or even a real grown up you will love anything by Neil Gaiman. This story is about Tristran’s journey over the mysterious wall in his village. The story is filled with magic and wonder and a little bit of sex, basically a fairytale for grown ups!

Frankenstein – Mary Shelley

Sure I had to include a classic. Love this one because it captures the wondrously creepy aspects of the Victorian era. Also written by a bad ass lady who created one of the best known fictional characters in history.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – J.K Rowling

This is without a doubt my favourite of the Harry Potter books. This is where we start to see the darker side of the magical world, it is definitely when things start to get interesting.

Northern Lights – Phillip Pullman

I remember when I first read this book, my sixth class teacher ended up having to buy in the next ones in the series. This book will make you question everything but it is a great book and one that I could read over and over.

Never Let Me Go – Kazuo Ishiguro

This is sad one. It’s a doomed love story about three best friends who grew up in a boarding school in England. It’s a bit of an uncomfortable read at times but when it comes to books that does not necessarily have to be a bad thing.

Academy Street – Mary Costello

Ok this one is completely harrowing. The story follows a women’s journey from her home in Galway, Ireland to New York. There is very few happy moments in the story as it begins with the death of her mother and ends in the aftermath of 9/11. It is a short novel but it packs a lot in, you do feel a bit like your heart and brain have been fucked with emotionally for the entire novel but is beautifully written.

Now go forth and read people! Feel free to comment if you have read any of these we can start a virtual book club.

 

 

 

Things I can’t live without these days

Not even joking when I wrote out the title of this I wrote the word ‘thong’ not ‘thing’ – this would have been a very different post. This is a very materialistic post because I am not including the people in my life that I wouldn’t be without, and yes when I say people I actually mean my dogs Pippin and Bowie.  There a few little things that kind of complete my life because I have grown to love them. Most of them are inanimate objects but I don’t care. I have a broken arm at the moment and some of these things have been ridiculously useful, not in a practical sense but more in a keeping me sane sense.

Continue reading “Things I can’t live without these days”

Anti-Bucket List

A lot of people make bucket lists. You know, stuff they wanna do or achieve before they ‘kick the bucket’. But I feel like the pressure of having to be a human is hard enough in this life without adding the pressure of ticking off an endless list of things that I think I need to do. I mean I like lists. I make a lot of to-do lists,  they sooth me when I’m stressed but I never stick to them…to anyone out there who sticks to a list for anything in their life then you have my deepest admiration and respect.  So because I don’t stick to lists I don’t have a bucket list, but ever the pessimist I do have an anti-bucket list. A list of things I definitely do not want to do before I die.  Continue reading “Anti-Bucket List”

Guess who’s back

Well hello world. It has been quite a while since my last post,which means I have failed at one of my new year’s resolutions but I assure you have a very legit reason. Firstly I was planning a little bit of a revamp for my page because I was planning on travelling around South East Asia with my hubby and wanted to share all of my struggles on that journey, so I was planning a really fun post on my 36 hour journey to the other side of the world, my airport struggles and all my adventures but then boom (a literal boom because I was hit by a car) and my plans had to change. Apparently this is what grown ups know as ‘life’ I prefer to know it as c**t face McAss dick. 

About three weeks ago I was making my way home from work and was hit by a car, broke my arm and badly hurt most of the rest of my body and of course my mind. The whole thing was fairly traumatic not just because it is a horrible thing to have happened and has ruined all of my travel plans but because I had to go through other not so fun stuff as a result of it that no one really thinks about. For example I had to have all of my clothes cut off of me and had to lie naked on a hospital bed while they found me a gown, tried to find a vein to put a line in and check me over in the hospital. I had to be helped to the bathroom, to anywhere really because I couldn’t walk without holding on to someone and I also couldn’t dress myself. Instead of bonding by travelling and seeing new places my husband and I were spending time getting used to maneuvering me into toilets and showers, with him trying to dress me and of course with him having to learn how sanitary pads fit into under wear (oh yea that’s right on top of everything the crimson tide arrived, just what I fucking needed!). 

Luckily my husband and I have a disgustingly open relationship but I think we both agreed we would have rather be lying on a beach somewhere or roaming through beautiful temples in Thailand. I couldn’t have writing about it because I didn’t really feel like making it into a funny anecdote for my blog. I don’t really even want to know but I’m gonna be honest there is far too much good material in my pain not too. I mean the image I have created of a grown man figuring out which side of a pad sticks to to the knickers is a alone to funny an imagine not to share. 

I’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the past week as I try to come to terms with this lovely curve ball that has hit me, I’ve dyed my hair, watched numerous shows on Netflix, got a new puppy, learned to live without washing my hair for days on end, become someone who wears pajamas all day, and bought a new lamp shades for my bedroom. I’ve also almost fallen over because I can’t keep my balance, cried on my bed because o couldn’t put my socks on and suffered through kale and spinach smoothies that my husband insists is good for my broken bones. It’s been emotional. 

Anyway I’m back to myself a bit more than I was and I will hopefully be posting more often and telling you all about my attempts to function with one arm instead of just my daily struggles of being an adult.