Sleep

Today in adult struggling I am trying to get back onto my work clock because tomorrow I will need to be up to catch a train in the morning and not sleep in until 2 in the afternoon, which of course has been happening because it’s Christmas, the time of year when all sense of time is completely lost and then boom, you enter into a new year. As I wrote that sentence I realised how much crazier it sounds and how it could maybe be the storyline for a fascinating sci-fi movie. Basically my extremely long-winded point is I need to get up early tomorrow so despite going to bed at an ungodly hour this morning I woke up at 7 am. I didn’t actually get up because as all the people out there who were up earlier enough to know, it was about -1 this morning and I was in my fuck exposing myself to those type of arctic conditions unnecessarily.

I stayed in bed and fought with myself to try to prevent a return to slumber. Why? Because you see people, as I get older I have lost my ability to do the whole late night – early morning thing. I was never very good at it anyway but my tolerance for it has gone way down in m mid twenties. I need about eight to nine hours sleep each night or I become some sort of deranged maniac who can’t cope with the world who cries or throws a tamtrum, I basically turn into a two year old. There are times when I am so tired, even if I just get an hour or two less sleep than normal, that the smallest thing will set me off. From having to put my washing on (something that brings me close to tears even on my good days) to having to have a shower, my poor exhausted body and mind do not respond well to the harsh elemenst such as these when tired.

I just really need my sleep in order to function well as human, that implies that with sleep I function well, so I actually mean that I need into to pretend to function well. I mean pretending to be a capable person is draining. Anyway if I sleep in, I don’t sleep at night, if I don’t sleep at night it means that the balance in my world will be off and the next morning everything will go wrong. I will be so incapable of operating basic tasks that I will forget something basic like brushing my hair or teeth and this will result in me being paranoid for the rest of the day, which in turn will distract me from my work. I will be so concerned with trying to hide the result of my tiredness that my work will be sloppy and I will not be able to keep up with the conversation. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be prevents by me going to sleep. I’m also really paticular about my sleep routine. I can’t just sleep anywhere. I don’t sleep on trains or planes, very rarely nap in cars. I need a lot of pre conditions in order to sleep well.

I can’t be too hot or cold. No lights can be anywhere, even the light of a phone. TV and music are a big no no. Noise is also  unacceptable. Even if my husband breaths too heavily it is too noisey for me to sleep. I have to have my feet covered by the blanket to prevent a scary creature dragging me to hell in the middle of the night. I have to wear socks in case my feet get cold. I need two pillows, no more and no less. If I go away anywhere, once I have the bed, pillows and lack of light and sound I am grand and will sleep very well. Anything less than that and we are talking major meltdown potential. I will most likely have a melt down today, it will probably be in relation to somethign stupid but I am prepared for it.

The problem is right now, I am bordering on the a zombie-like state where I sort of wonder around with my mouth half-open and my eyes glazed open, trying to keep myself awake. So far I have walked to two supermarkets and bought a lot of things that I don’t need just so I don’t succumb to sleep. I have also drunk two litres of water and am holding in my pee because I figure that I am less likely to be able to fall asleep with a full bladder than with an empty one. In fairness I think the latter plan is pretty good, I mean we have all been in the situation where we needed to pee right before falling asleep. I reckon if I keep myself in that state I will be able to resist a detrimental nap. Or I wet myself. One or the other, we will have to wait and see. I’m basically only writing this post because I also thought it would be a good way to keep me awake. It is working so far but I am really coming out with a lot of shite so I apologise.

Most normal people would have a coffee to keep them awake, but I will have you know that despite my inability to be a good adult on a mental and spiritual level, my body is fully fledged grown up human, meaning that if I have coffee or too many caffeinated drinks of any kind at this moment, I will not sleep tonight. That’s right. I am one of those people. I honestly can’t have caffeine after mid-day unless I am going to partake in a lot of exercise before bed and I assure that will not be happening today. As you can see my struggle is real. I am forced to make myself stay awake for the rest of the day in order to sleep tonight. I might have to work on that sci-fi movie, that would keep me awake.

Wish me luck!

My New Year’s Resolutions

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It’s that time of year where everyone feels the need to change everything about them in order to have something to distract from the boringness of January. I myself will be jumping on the bandwagon and changing almost all aspects of my life in order to feel good for a month. Just joking, some of mine are quite normal, non-threatening and more achievable than attempting to lose a stone after Christmas.

Take more pictures with the familia

Specifically with my sisters. We don’t have enough of the three of us together unless you count weird forced ones from family events. This year I am gonna be snap happy whenever we are together.

Read more

I love reading and Santa was kind enough to bring some books this year so I am going to get back into my old habit. I might even start adding some book reviews to my blog so watch this space. Continue reading “My New Year’s Resolutions”

Merry Christmas!

wp-1482573449702.jpgThis is just a short post to say thank you for reading my blog and remind you that it’s OK if you aren’t quite where you would like to be in your life this Christmas. To all of those struggling to adult, especially at this time of year, don’t panic, claim the prepacked food as your own, smile and have a very large glass of wine. Christmas is a time that usually instills a lot of panic because of all of the probing questions about where you are in your life, but don’t let it get to you. Remember that Christmas still has the magic ability to make you happy for no reason, whip open the chocolate and say fuck it to everything.

Have a very happy, peaceful and save Christmas.

Train people Part II

As mentioned a few months ago, I hate train people in their many forms. Since I’ve become a commuter, heading up to Dublin five days a week, I have encountered a whole new breed of train people and believe me it isn’t pretty. My dislike of the people I have to travel with is only made worse by the early hour of my travels and my lack of caffeine. But in some cases I feel like my hatred for them is justified. My journey is no longer restricted to the one type of train anymore either, I now get a Train, Luas and a Dart. What is the difference between all of these modes of transport? Sweet fuck all, because the types of people you encounter are fairly much the same. Continue reading “Train people Part II”

Honest answers to frequently asked questions

As a twenty-something I always feel semi-attacked when ‘real’ grown ups ask me particular questions,  about my life, where I am going with it. I’m sure it is an innocent thing, they don’t realise the sheer stress and self-loathing it creates for me when I have to tell them I actually am not where I had planned on being at this point in my life. But sometimes I wonder if they really want to know the truth or if they are just asking for the sake of it, either way, here are honest answers to the questions most twenty-somethings have been asked, some of these are specific to myself but I am sure you can all relate.  For anyone who has asked me, or plans on asking me these in the future, I will no longer answering and instead refer you to this post.

Continue reading “Honest answers to frequently asked questions”

Writer’s Block

I haven’t written a post in a while for a few different reasons. One reason is the current state of the world. This has been contributing to my overall feeling that the world is fucked and that I should just remain tucked up in bed all day and not write anything. The world just seems to have gone a bit nuts and as much as I saw this happening over the last few years, the result of the US presidential election was pretty much the straw that broke the camel’s back. Aside from the general anxiety about the world I’ve also been quite busy. I am now a working commuter. I’m interning in Dublin so I spend most of my time on trains.  I like it but being on trains so much is inspiring me to get my shit together and starting to learn how to drive (don’t panic or worry for your safety just yet, I haven’t started to learn so it will be a long time before you see me on the road, you are safe for another while).  I’ve been busy and a little bit too tired lazy to sit down and write a post.  The biggest reason I haven’t written in a while though is I have no idea what I want to write about. Continue reading “Writer’s Block”

Ten things that go through my head while I pee

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I have mentioned in a previous post about how I sing jingle bells while I pee and at random intervals throughout my day. But I also have very random thoughts while I go to the loo. Now you can all read this in judgement and pretend that you have no idea what I’m talking about, but if you look deep within yourselves and find your own truth, you know that you do the exact same thing.  The following are the random ponderings that pop into my head while sitting on the throne.

Continue reading “Ten things that go through my head while I pee”

Relationship goals

When you hear the term relationship goals you think of a couple that is really adorable and does cute things together all the time. You know, like those pictures and posts on Tumblr about holding hands for hours. Well, these are very unrealistic relationship goals. Why because real relationships involve a much higher level of intimacy, like what you have with that friend that always holds your hair back when you’re sick, but with a little bit more nakedness. My husband is my best friend. He is the first person I call when anything good or bad happens, and he is definitely the first person I ring when there is a bit of juicy gossip to share. I share everything with him including my food. That’s a pretty strong commitment as I refuse to share food with anyone. I even share dessert with him and that is against my moral code. So many people have told us that we are such a wonderful and cute couple and we obviously lap this up, let it completely go to our heads and think that we are the most amazing couple in the world. I mean we have lasted and Brangelina didn’t so we are clearly a far superior couple. We share the typical couple pictures on Instagram and we even got Beauty and the Beast matching couple tattoos. We are relationship goals. We are super close, in fact, we are too close. That is the problem with our relationship. We have gone past the point of no return with our intimacy. I don’t mean the sexy times, I mean…the toilet times.

About 18 months ago my darling husband – finance at the time, developed the interesting habit of sending everyone poo-snaps: Snapchat pictures of his daily number twos. Continue reading “Relationship goals”

These are a few of my favourite things

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This week’s post is basically a list of the shit that I like. I will be telling you what I like,  why I like it and hoping that you like them too.  There is a pretty broad mix of things that I like because they are pretty. As well as  stuff that I feel, or at least the materialistic part of my brain has convinced me, I cannot live without. There are some food and beverage items also because I am a human and have my priorities straight. Continue reading “These are a few of my favourite things”

The mix tape of my life

Have you ever thought of the songs that describe particular moment in your life, no? Ah this is probably one of those Aoife things then. Well every now and then during life’s little moments I think of a song that can perfectly sum up that moment or in some case a song will just randomly pop into my head. Now because I am me and am therefore strange, in a good way, I usually end up thinking of songs that are not necessarily the most appropriate. Anyway here is the mix tape of my life.

 

When I pee: Jingle bells.

Yeah I know it’s weird, no I don’t know why it happens but it just does. I’ll just be sitting on the toilet and I start singing it in my head. Continue reading “The mix tape of my life”